Tsar_Maple
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 24, 2012
- Messages
- 673
- Thread Author
- #1
What it is...
AlienCare is a new Minecraft Addicts Insurance system that's required for all non-insured players! The rates are insanely expensive, but it's okay! No need to worry, we're sure you'll find some way to pay for it. (We'll probably just take money from rich players.)
Benefits:
Standard Plan:
Cost: Free
-500 caps for level 5 enchanted leather armour (If you can't pay for it, just tell us! We'll put the load on rich players)
-Free food! (Rich players are still paying for it!)
Iron Plan:
Cost: 10,000 caps
-600 caps for level 5 enchanted leather armour! (Since you seem pretty middle class, we assume you can pay more for what others get, and you don't even need help for it. Good luck!)
Gold Plan:
Cost: 50,000 caps
-1000 caps for level 7 enchanted leather armour! We may even throw in a pair of gold boots if you behave and don't complain about our policies!
Diamond Plan:
Cost: 100,000 caps
-5000 caps for level 10 enchanted leather armour!!!1!!!!!11!!!! Wow! And we guarantee a pair of gold boots! Who cares if it doesn't match the name of your plan? Diversity is good!
-Oh, and since we assume you guys are filthy rich, we'll be asking you to pay for everyone else's plans if they can't really make the payments. Doesn't it feel great to be Good Samaritans?! I sure think so!
If you already have insurance...
You can keep it! But later on we're going to tell you that's not what we meant to say. Just play along, alright?
And here's the link to our official website:
ww w.ProbablyDoesntWorkEvenThoughWeSpentMillionsMakingEverythingUpToThisPoint .gov
Questions? don't Call our customer assistance!
Edit: AlienCare officials are exempt from this ridiculous policy. Don't worry guys, we actually care for you.
AlienCare is a new Minecraft Addicts Insurance system that's required for all non-insured players! The rates are insanely expensive, but it's okay! No need to worry, we're sure you'll find some way to pay for it. (We'll probably just take money from rich players.)
Benefits:
Standard Plan:
Cost: Free
-500 caps for level 5 enchanted leather armour (If you can't pay for it, just tell us! We'll put the load on rich players)
-Free food! (Rich players are still paying for it!)
Iron Plan:
Cost: 10,000 caps
-600 caps for level 5 enchanted leather armour! (Since you seem pretty middle class, we assume you can pay more for what others get, and you don't even need help for it. Good luck!)
Gold Plan:
Cost: 50,000 caps
-1000 caps for level 7 enchanted leather armour! We may even throw in a pair of gold boots if you behave and don't complain about our policies!
Diamond Plan:
Cost: 100,000 caps
-5000 caps for level 10 enchanted leather armour!!!1!!!!!11!!!! Wow! And we guarantee a pair of gold boots! Who cares if it doesn't match the name of your plan? Diversity is good!
-Oh, and since we assume you guys are filthy rich, we'll be asking you to pay for everyone else's plans if they can't really make the payments. Doesn't it feel great to be Good Samaritans?! I sure think so!
If you already have insurance...
You can keep it! But later on we're going to tell you that's not what we meant to say. Just play along, alright?
And here's the link to our official website:
ww w.ProbablyDoesntWorkEvenThoughWeSpentMillionsMakingEverythingUpToThisPoint .gov
Questions? don't Call our customer assistance!
Edit: AlienCare officials are exempt from this ridiculous policy. Don't worry guys, we actually care for you.
