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So we had another troll join our server and this is what happened(warning text wall)

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dph

Operator
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
590
After typing this all up and going through the 90 odd screenshots I took this looks like a wall of text. This took me about an hour and a half to type up so sorry if you don't like the layout...


I hope people enjoy this its going to take some time to type this all up. I am keeping all spelling mistakes and this will be letter for letter so if it doesn't make sense sorry! It isn't as good as the time we had Notch's 'Agents' on our server but could be amusing for you.


So I missed the start of it when he was starting it but it started by him introducing himself and saying there was a number of complaints about a person on this server. He then targeted me and we had a nice conversation by /msg with the people in vent giving me good suggestions of what to say!

Coleh20(troll): Just to let you know our conversation will be recoreded with video software ok?
Me: lmao
Me: Yes
Coleh20(troll): Sir I am being very serious
Coleh20(troll): Ok so we have an issue with your gamer tag

Me: Gamer tag, on XBox?
Coleh20(troll): We have gotten 50 complaints about your gameplay which is a code 4
Me: and what is the nature of these complaints?
Coleh20(troll): On minecraft now the issue is you could be facing an ip-block from minecraft but (I may have missed a section here)
me: and waht can I do about it?
Coleh20(troll): Now the nature of these are directed towards hacking/modding so you are aware
Coleh20(troll): Ok the options you have are:
Coleh20(troll): You can issue an apolige statement or do some workshops
Coleh20(troll): What do you think is the best way to dufuse the situation?

me: so what would the workshops be?
Coleh20(troll): The workshops are you going around helping me do what I'm doing to you
Coleh20(troll): Or you can issue an apolige statement which I can then turn into my boss for examining

me: Ok so who would I have to apologise to? I need to know who complained to direct an apologie to
Coleh20(troll): I am sorry for my nature of gameplay and I swear off from it - (your name)
me: Where have these complaints come from?
Coleh20(troll): I can trell from how but I can tell you they are directed towards hacking/modding
me (trolling the troll) : Oh so you can tell me from who, so who is it from?
Coleh20(troll): Sorry typo I can not tell you from who is confidential
me: then what server is it from?
Coleh20(troll): It is from a number of observers but again I cant tell you
me: so what do I need to do again?
Coleh20(troll): Ok so you would say:
Coleh20(troll):I am sorry for my nature of game play and I swear off from it -(your name)
Coleh20(troll): Or do some workshops

me: What would happen if I didn't do either?
Coleh20(troll): The consequences would increase and the ip-blocking process would increase
me: So can I see official identification to make sure that you are legit.
Coleh20(troll): To assure you I am but we do not have a website accesible to the outside because it too risky
me: Are you the internet police
Coleh20(troll): Again MinecraftDirtBlock Inc. is a third-party organisation that keep the gaming communite safe
me(from helpful imput from vent we discovered this website): http://goscrewyourself.com/
Coleh20(troll): Sir I am just trying to help you
me: Ok then I will do a workshop then
Coleh20(troll): Ok so you are doing the workshops
me: yes so what do I need to do
Coleh20(troll): Ok so I can go into dept about this meet on (SERVER IP HERE) ok?
Coleh20(troll): And this is all to help you understand?
Coleh20(troll): Are you there?

me: yes I was just writing down the ip address
Coleh20(troll): OK meet you there
me: so can you jsut explain that again who has complaints against them on that server?
Coleh20(troll): People who have played with/against you
me: But I don't know anyone on that server?
Coleh20(troll): Ok meet me on that server so I can get you started with the workshops
Coleh20(troll): You are making the right choice with the work shop ok lets get on the server

me: but surely thats a suvival games server type server
me: So whats the name of the player that we are looking for?
Coleh20(troll): Ok go on and I will meet you there ok?
me: But I need to know a name surely?
Coleh20(troll): I will give you all of the specs once there ok?
me: Otherwise how will I know you are real or not, you could just be getting a name from the current players?
Coleh20(troll): Ok we bestusernameever
me: So a user called bestusernameever
Coleh20(troll): Thats the name ok dph
Coleh20(troll): Lets go

me: ok
me: you go I will follow
Coleh20(troll): Ok go on I will be there just have to file your case ok
me: Oh do that now I will wait for you
Coleh20(troll): Well I will go on first but if you dont follow that can get you in trouble so you're
me: But I have checked that user isn't on that server.
Coleh20(troll): He is just come on after me ok?
me: He isnt I just had a friend check for me while I was chatting to you!
Coleh20(troll): I will give you a sec to say why your levaing then come on ok I am sure he is he just came
Coleh20(troll): I am looking at his account

me: But I have a friend on that server right next to me and he isnt on...
Coleh20(troll): Ok see you in a sec and he is on just trust me ok?
me: WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME HE ISNT ON THAT SERVER AT THE MOMENT!
Coleh20(troll): Ok remember this is to help you
me: But do you have any other names because as I said he isnt on currently
Coleh20(troll):So would you like the ip-block to happen or will you let me help you
me: but I am asking you if you have more games as that person isnt on (NB should have said names)
me: you mist have a list of them as you must get a lot of reports
Coleh20(troll): Some others are: Budderman342, Greenpenguin105, Jey888
Coleh20(troll): LEts go beacuse we are losing time

me: hmm and they should be on the same server?
(may have missed a line here)
Coleh20(troll):Its a hub but they are one the craft server so lets go ok?
me: I am trying to save timeas I am looking at the other server anyway. They have a player list and they arn't on either. You must know there are a ton of mc players..
Coleh20(troll): Just join me on the server sir please
Me: ok I will meet you on there
Coleh20(troll): Or instead just do the apolige because it seems like you don't want to help
me: But I DO want to help!
Coleh20(troll): If you just come on the server we will be done ok?
Coleh20(troll): So you will come on?

me: But the people you are looking for arn't on!
Coleh20(troll): They are
me: I am telling you they arn't
Coleh20(troll): If you dont belive me come look just trust ok this is to help you ok?
me: O am looking as I said I have a friend next to me..
Coleh20(troll): Just come on the server or I will jsut drop your case
me: Oh drop my case that means that no further action will be taken right?
Coleh20(troll): No it means that you will not be helped and the ip-blocking will be set in motion
me: So how would the ip ban work as only servers can ip ban for themselves
me: So how would you ban me from you company?
Coleh20(troll): It will be a minecraft ip-block of about a month to 2 months
Coleh20(troll): You know what just say the apology and everthing will be good ok?

me: Oh I have a good way to check if you are legit, What is my ip address as to do an ip man you need my ip address?
Coleh20(troll): I am not the one who does the block that is the registration department that does that
me: but surely you would have access to that information?
Coleh20(troll): You belive me when I say I am trying my best to help you correct?
(lost a line with me saying something like Ok what did I need to say again)
Coleh20(troll): I am sorry for my nature of game play and I swear off from it -(your name)
Coleh20(troll): Ok say that and we are done here ok?

Me: I am not sorry for my nature of gameplay and I will never swear off it -dph
Coleh20(troll): Perfect I will show it to my boss and I will be back with the result :)
Coleh20 left the game


A couple mins later
Coleh20(troll): Hello dph I have the results and my boss and he has seen you have apoligized and everything is clear congradulation

Follow up
me: WAIT a sec sorry
Coleh20(troll): ok
me did you actually see what I wrote?
me: I am NOT sorry for my nature of gameplay and will NEVER swear off it -dph
Coleh20(troll): Its all good I already have it on record just try not do it again ok
me: But that was what I said, I have print screens of it.
Coleh20(troll): I just need to ask you one question ok?
me: yes that one question ok? was fine
Coleh20(troll): You are tottaly aware I am legit right well we need someone like you to work for us
Coleh20(troll): Would you be willing to work as an inside guy?

me: OK sure Maplethesnippa definitely hacks
Coleh20(troll): I have to say one thing: You have been a good sport this is fake and going on youtube :)


I then had a chat to him saying how terrible he was and apparently (I will believe him if I see the video go up) his youyoutube channel is Minnesotaburns.
 
what i find funny is that the "troll" has over one million subs. if he were to find his way to MCA that would actually suprise me. unless he has something that just randomly tells him a server ip .-.
 
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Hahaha I know who that guy is, that is quite funny. Good job playing along, I never would've been able to do that haha
 
Cowboy, whenever a troll targets me I try and troll them as much as possible. I will just add that Maple's input was helpful with him sending a message with correctly spelled words to him as I read out the ones that he spelt wrong!

Still waiting for the video to appear :P
 
Well played dph, well played indeed! Looks like we won't need to take on this fellow to keep our "communite" safe. You'd better watch your step though, lest you receive a 3am knock at the door from ruthless enforcers Budderman, Greenpenguin and Jey.

In all seriousness massive respect is also in order for taking the time to type all that out from screenshots, it made for an entertaining read :)
 
DPH, you deserve a medal. This was entertainment to its finest!
 
I am glad it was time well used typing that out for you guys! I certainly enjoyed thinking of the most amusing lines and trying to make him go round in circles as well as taking advantage of his typos!
 
hahahaha very well done! I would have played the same cards if I was in that position. Great read!!
 
Sorry to burst your bubble but MinnesotaBurns hate Minecraft, nor does he own an MC account.

About a year and a half ago he made a 6 minute video saying why MC sucks.
 
No bubble has been burst Jesse I had no expectation that it would be the right youtube account. Do you think I would trust a troll? :P
 
Cowboy, whenever a troll targets me I try and troll them as much as possible. I will just add that Maple's input was helpful with him sending a message with correctly spelled words to him as I read out the ones that he spelt wrong!

Still waiting for the video to appear :P

Hehe, twas fun
 
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